I'm in this home. They put me here.
Don't know the date, I don't know the year,
I sit, I think, I reminisce.
Of the days gone by, total joy and bliss.
But confusion sets in, and I start to panic,
Medication wears off, it makes me erratic,
Where am I? I don’t know this place.
Someone is speaking, I see their face.
This one that speaks, I may recognize.
Something familiar, something about those eyes.
I think he’s not all there, I think he may be mad,
Why does he hold my hand? Why does he call me Dad?
They will not leave, they will not go.
So, I sit in silence, signs of life I will not show.
Still, they hold my hand and they speak to me.
They just wont let go, who can they be?
My mind is addled I'm all confused,
My mind feels broken and it feels bruised.
I wish my wife was still around,
She'd ease my pain, she was so profound.
I listen as they all mill about,
I hear them whisper and I want to shout.
What do they want? Why don't they leave?
I think they are liars, and I disbelieve.
I remember times of long ago,
But not recent times, as my mind has slowed.
Endless summers and times of joy
When I was small, just a little boy.
I remember well, my wedding day.
A happy memory that’s here to stay.
But, it all goes fuzzy and all goes grey
And, I can't remember even yesterday.
They think me mad, they think me senile.
They are the ones that are in denial.
This mental illness is no joke,
I used to be normal, now I'm just smoke.
The onset came and it took hold,
It ate my mind and it has left me cold.
Deep inside I try and fight,
I push at it with all my might.
Some days are good and some quite bad,
But either way, when my end comes I’ll not be sad.
My brain has gone, now left this place.
I have passed on, the next world I shall embrace.
My Mind is back all suspicion gone.
My bitterness to them it was so wrong.
I don't blame them now for what they have done
I know them now my daughter and son.
They loved me, now I see that clear,
They cared for me year after year.
Time passed on and I got worse,
They needed help and I needed a nurse.
But I am no longer there, I have a blessed relief,
I'm gone, I don’t want to cause their grief,
But, leave I must, I'm no longer a burden,
They will live happy lives of that I’m certain.
Make no mistake the illness I have suffered.
Changed their lives, I would not have recovered.
Decline was slow, symptoms hard to see,
But it just got worse and it ate at me.
I'm in a better place my head now clear,
I love you all and I hold you dear.
My mind is focused I have full Perception
I shower you in love....down from Heaven.
Author: John Steward