I'm in this home. They
put me here.
Don't know the
date, I don't know the year,
I sit, I think, I
reminisce.
Of the days gone
by, total joy and bliss.
But confusion sets
in, and I start to panic,
Medication wears
off, it makes me erratic,
Where am I? I
don’t know this place.
Someone is
speaking, I see their face.
This one that
speaks, I may recognize.
Something
familiar, something about those eyes.
I think he’s not
all there, I think he may be mad,
Why does he hold
my hand? Why does he call me Dad?
They will not
leave, they will not go.
So, I sit in
silence, signs of life I will not show.
Still, they hold
my hand and they speak to me.
They just wont let
go, who can they be?
My mind is addled
I'm all confused,
My mind feels
broken and it feels bruised.
I wish my wife was
still around,
She'd ease my
pain, she was so profound.
I listen as they
all mill about,
I hear them
whisper and I want to shout.
What do they want?
Why don't they leave?
I think they are
liars, and I disbelieve.
I remember times
of long ago,
But not recent
times, as my mind has slowed.
Endless summers
and times of joy
When I was small,
just a little boy.
I remember well,
my wedding day.
A happy memory
that’s here to stay.
But, it all goes
fuzzy and all goes grey
And, I can't
remember even yesterday.
They think me mad,
they think me senile.
They are the ones
that are in denial.
This mental
illness is no joke,
I used to be
normal, now I'm just smoke.
The onset came and
it took hold,
It ate my mind and
it has left me cold.
Deep inside I try
and fight,
I push at it with
all my might.
Some days are good
and some quite bad,
But either way,
when my end comes I’ll not be sad.
My brain has gone,
now left this place.
I have passed on,
the next world I shall embrace.
My Mind is back
all suspicion gone.
My bitterness to
them it was so wrong.
I don't blame them
now for what they have done
I know them now my
daughter and son.
They loved me, now
I see that clear,
They cared for me
year after year.
Time passed on and
I got worse,
They needed help
and I needed a nurse.
But I am no longer
there, I have a blessed relief,
I'm gone, I don’t
want to cause their grief,
But, leave I must,
I'm no longer a burden,
They will live
happy lives of that I’m certain.
Make no mistake
the illness I have suffered.
Changed their lives,
I would not have recovered.
Decline was slow,
symptoms hard to see,
But it just got
worse and it ate at me.
I'm in a better
place my head now clear,
I love you all and
I hold you dear.
My mind is focused
I have full Perception
I shower you in
love....down from Heaven.
Author: John Steward
